Narutards Adventure
by Akai Yuki no Hana
Summary: Vi and Kai making fun of the brooding emo after getting sucked into the Naruto world via a television screen after popping in a video game! ... Rated for swearing. And the violence that ensues after the girls let their yaoi minds take over...
1. Fried Chicken

**CHAPTER ONE**

L2Max : Muahahahahahaha!

Kai : WHEE! Thanks for reading o-o;; Please tell us how it is, ne?

L2Max : We do not own Naruto…

Kai : If we did, Naruto and Sasuke would be all -chuu!-

L2Max : …o.o

Kai : Take note that there IS a lot of swearing in this fanfic. I have this... _Issue _with swearing every two seconds... So don't be bothered too much >.> If I saw you in real life I'd swear just as much... Anyway, one with the ficcy!

* * *

'_**Ding dooooooooong!'**_

"Hold _on_ a minute, fuck!"

A girl about fourteen-years-old stood from where she sat on the couch and went to answer the door. She peered through the peep-hole to see who it was. Upon seeing her friend standing there, she opened the door.

"Hey Vi! Did you bring the Kingdom Hearts game?" asked Kai, letting the small girl enter into the warmth of her home.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm beginning to think you just invited me over for the game and not the company," Vi said, narrowing her eyes at her host.

"No, I like the company! Honest! But I'm curious about the game too, so there," Kai said, sticking her tongue out at her friend.

"Suuuuure…" Vi said, walking into the living room with her friend in tow. They popped the game into the system and waited for it to load.

"I'm getting some popcorn, Kai. Want anything?" Vi asked, standing up from her position on the floor and walking towards the direction of the kitchen.

"Errr… Soda would be great!" Kai yelled in her general direction.

**_WELCOME TO NARUTO WORLD! WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENTER?_**

_**-YES- **_

_**-NO- **_

"… Hey Vi!"

"What?" Vi asked, poking her head from the kitchen and tossing a soda at Kai, whom promptly caught it.

"Do you own a Naruto game? 'Cause this sure ain't Kingdom Hearts."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Vi asked, looking at her friend incredulously.

"Well, come here, fuck!"

Vi scowled and glanced at the microwave where her popcorn was cooking before walking into the living room. Seeing Kai pointing at the screen, she had to take a double take.

"What the fuck!" Vi said, staring at the TV in disbelief.

"Told ya, fuck…" Kai said, opening her soda and taking a sip.

"Must be my bro… Try it out," Vi said, sitting down next her as Kai took the controller.

**_OKAY, ARE YOU SURE?_**

"What in fuckin' hell? I clicked yes, didn't I?" Kai said, glancing at Vi who just shrugged her shoulders.

**_YES? OKAY! GET READY._**

**_BYEBYE!_**

Kai and Vi looked at each other before the TV turned into a massive black hole, sucking in everything around them.

"Fuck, Mom's going to have a fit…" Kai said.

"Damn straight…"

They were pulled into the massive hole. Throughout the entire neighborhood, you could hear a series of "HOLY SHIT!" and "FUCKIN' A!"

"Stupid kids and their wild parties…" said some random old guy down the street, narrowing his eyes while looking out the window.

* * *

In a forest nearby, you could see a young girl slowly coming back into the world of consciousness. 

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

_Jab!_

"What the?" Vi said, snapping her eyes open and slapping the hand away.

"I think she's alright..." said an unfamiliar voice.

Vi sat up, intent on looking around, but hit her head on the massive forehead of a girl and fell back into her lying position. Vi rubbed her head and slowly sat up again. What she saw, she never thought was possible.

It was team seven.

Her eyes widened as she looked at them.

"Who are you?"

Vi just stared, not quite believing that they were _talking _to her.

"Are you alright?"

Vi continued to stare her wide eyed stare.

"I think she's brain dead…"

"Shut it, you brooding emo!" Vi screamed, finally coming to her senses.

Sasuke twitched. "KATON: RYUU---"

"HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

"KAI!" Vi screamed, running off towards wherever the cursing came.

_Cancel? _Team seven thought.

* * *

"Oh fuck… My head…" Kai said, grabbing her head and sitting up. 

"Hn… She seems okay," a deep voice stated.

"Her springtime of youth is not broken! YOSH!"

"Very good, Lee!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

Kai suddenly found herself looking at a sunset above the crashing of waves, where two very unstylish men in green stood atop a bunch of rocks.

She twitched.

"Break it up you two..."

Kai's eyes widened considerably as she stared at who stood before her.

"Hey Neji… She has your eyes…"

Kai continued her stare, her eyes going back and forth between the four people.

"You're crazy, TenTen. She has pupils."

She continued her shocked stare, coming up to pinch herself in the arm. _Yeah… That hurt._

"YOSH! WHAT IS YOUR NAME BLOOMING FLOWER OF SOMEWHERE!" screamed Lee.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God," Kai breathed. "You're _the_ Hyuuga Neji," she said incredulously, pointing towards the scary teen. "And you're TenTen, the weapon master," she, again, pointed towards said individual. "And you're the taijutsu masters…" she ended, pointing at the green clad men.

They all nodded to her, confused as to how she knew each of their names and abilities.

"HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Team Gai quickly covered their ears as Kai continued screaming out random profanities. Not far in the distance, you could see a cloud of dust quickly coming their way.

"MOVE! I CAN'T STOP!" screamed the dust cloud, coming towards the group at a rapid speed.

Kai stopped her cursing rampage to look at what all the noise was about.

"VIVIAAAAAAAAN!" Kai yelled happily, noticing her best friend was coming at her. "FUCKIN' A'!" She quickly ducked out of the way as Vi zoomed passed her.

"**Baika no Jutsu**!" Vi ran straight into something soft before bounding off backwards.

"Vi!"

Moving quickly, Kai jumped and grabbed her friend before she hit the ground.

"**Kage bunshin no jutsu!" **

They both were cushioned before they both landed onto the dirt floor with a dull _thud_. The smell of ramen hitting their noses, they immediately stood up. Before them stood the nine rookies and Gai's team staring intently at them.

"Hey, who are you, dattebayo?" a familiar blonde asked.

"Hey Vi," whispered Kai, ignoring the comment.

"Yeah?" she whispered back.

"This is... FUCKING AWESOME!" Kai screamed out, smiling brightly as the twelve around them jumped out of their skin.

"Are they real?" Vi asked, poking Naruto in the cheek, only to have her hand batted away. "Yeah, they're real..."

"Daaaaaaamn... Look at his eyebrows! They really _are _fuzzy!" Kai said, moving to touch them.

"Don't! You might lose your finger in their depths," Vi said, glaring at the eyebrows as if it were their fault. Lee unconsciously went to rub at his eyebrows.

"But, but, but... They aren't _that_ fuzzy, are they!" Lee said. "OH GAI-SENSEI! WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG IN YOUR TEACHINGS!" Lee's waterfall of tears began as Kai and Vi choose to ignore Mr. Fuzzy Eyebrows.

"... Ya know, Naruto and Sasuke are a lot hotter in person," Kai said, cocking her head to the side as if that would help her get a better view.

Vi cocked her head to the side too. "They _are_. And they look so cute standing together!" she squealed, clasping her hands together and resting them against her cheek.

Kai did the same. "They're a lot cuter couple in person!" she exclaimed, moving to pinch Naruto's cheek.

"Wha... What the hell, dattebayo!" Naruto said, slapping her hand away and rubbing his cheek.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched insesently. "What the hell do you mean by couple?" he asked through clenched teeth.

Kai and Vi both raised an eyebrow. "Ya know, like 'I love you, now let's fuck' type of couple?" Kai said, pushing both of her pointing fingers together.

"Care to repeat that?" Sasuke asked, clenching his fists at his sides.

"I _said_," Kai repeated. "That we meant the 'I love you, now let's fuck' type of couple." Vi and her made various hand gestures as to what they meant.

Sasuke narrowed his glare and he made to start a jutsu.

"Hnnn... What should we do next?" Kai mumbled as Vi shrugged, looking at Sasuke in a suspicious kind of way.

"I know! Let's go meet the old geezer!" Kai said, hauling her best friend to her feet. "Leave on one. Two. THREE!" Kai yelled as Vi and her took off in a mad dash.

"**KATON: RYUUKA NO JUTSU!"**

"YAY! Second time almost getting fried by the brooding emo!" Vi screamed, Kai and her running in the direction of Konoha.

Sasuke cursed and chased after them, Naruto chasing after Sasuke, Sakura chasing after Naruto, and everyone else chasing so they wouldn't get left behind.

"Oh fuck... How do we get through the gates?" asked Kai, running faster as she saw them all right on their heels.

"Errr... Remember that one chapter where the sandaime used that earth wall thingy?" Vi asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, I remember that," she said. "But how the fuck do you expect me to do that!" Kai asked her incrediously.

"Errr... Just do the flippin' hand signs, would you?" Vi said to her impatiently.

After a fast flurry of hand signs, Kai felt something strange building up inside of her.

"**Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Release: Earth Style Wall)!**" Kai screamed as mud began spewing from her mouth and solidifying into a slanted ramp up the gates.

"Dude, that is so nasty..." Vi said to her, grimacing.

"Yeah, you should try it sometime," Kai said, spitting and glaring at Vi before running up the ramp, Vi following suit. Halfway up they saw the guards trying to stop them from getting into the village.

"This is just fuckin' _fabulous,_" Kai said, not being able to slow down at all.

* * *

A/H : WHOO! Okay, that was chapter one! We're pretty sure we got all the technique names spelt correctly. If we didn't, feel free to drop a review and tell us. 

First off, Kai and Vi _are _real people. This entire fanfiction is based off of those two. Kai is the co-writer/editor and Vi is an idea... person thing. L2Max decided she didn't want to be in the ficcy for whatever reason. o-o;;

Kai and Vi are YAOI WHORES, so there will be a lot of mentioning of yaoi/shounen-ai. There won't be anything graphic or whatever because I'd die of bloodloss o-o;; But, there will be mentioning of Sasuke/Naruto and other various couples. They won't actually get together (I think o-o;;) but Kai and Vi have a tendancy to bring up things. You no likey, fuck off.

That's all we have to say... If you want, please review. If you want to flame, go ahead.


	2. Blackmail

**CHAPTER TWO**

L2Max : Yo, peeps.

Kai : WHOO! ANOTHER CHAPTER!

L2Max : We would like to thank any reviewers and today, we have a flamer.

Kai: ... Thanks Ivy... -.-;;;

L2Max : 1st: YOU ATE OUR COOKIES! Ok, moving on.. I would like to see you do better. Ivy, you live one door away from me... Also, GET OFF THE CRACK! This flame is the worst I've seen. I laugh at you.

* * *

"Get ready to jump!" Kai yelled upon realizing the guards would not move. At the edge of the ramp, Kai pushed off her feet, grabbing Vi in the process. Soaring for a few moments, they landed non-too-gracefully onto the rooftops. 

"Fuck, that hurts like hell!" exclaimed Kai, rubbing her butt from the fall.

"Damn straight," Vi replied, standing up and rubbing at her arms.

"Well, lets go before they come," stated Kai, starting walking away.

"**Kage mane no jutsu!**"

Vi and Kai both froze in place.

"Shit, you don't think it's..." started Kai, turning without her consent.

"Nara Shikamaru, the shadow user," Vi finished, looking flabberghasted.

They faced the guards at the gate, four Anbu, the Hokage, the nine rookies, Team Gai, and four jounins.

"Awwww... Fuck," Kai said disappointedly as the shadow receded back to its owner, giving them back their control.

"Dude, it's _the Hokage_!" Vi said, staring at the old man. "Pst, you think this is before the attack?" Vi asked in a whisper.

"I dunno. But dude... I think we're fucking screwed," Kai said, looking at all the glares they were on the recieving end of.

"May I ask why you have disturbed my outer gates?" the Hokage asked, looking at the girls in curiousity.

"Well... Err... The guards did it!" Vi said, quickly ducking behind Kai.

"Oh sure, leave me to deal with them all," Kai said, rolling her eyes. "What she meant was that we were moving too fast and the gate wouldn't open..." Kai said, crossing her arms. _And they fuckin' made me spew fuckin' _mud.

"I see. Everyone. In my office. Now," Sarutobi said.

"Ossu!" everyone replied, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Fuck, where's the office?" Kai asked absentmindedly.

* * *

In the office, Sarutobi was giving out orders. 

"Kakashi, I want you to look after them both. Perhaps teach them some self defense. As for sleeping arrangements, Sasuke," Sarutobi said. Upon hearing his name, Sasuke glanced up. "You will provide the sleeping arrangements," he finished.

Sasuke kept his usual calm demeanor, but inside he was absolutely dumbfounded. _He_ had to share _his_ house with _two_ weird, and possibly insane or mentally ill, fangirls. He absentmindidly looked up and out of the window. _Someone up there must hate me..._

* * *

"You think Kakashi and Iruka love each other here?" Vi asked, looking up at her friend. 

"I dunno. Maybe. But, did you see Sasuke's face at the remark? Fuckin' hilarious!" Kai said before bursting out laughing. "Oh my God! I think I broke a rib!" she said, clutching her sides as Vi and her continued to laugh.

Kakashi stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to react to such a comment. Vi and Kai, on the other hand, were telling each other about "fanfics" that they've read on him.

Kai turned around with a grin and began telling the details of a fanfic she had just finished. Said fanfic just so happened to be a mature rated Sasuke and Naruto pairing. Sasuke stood and stared at them both incrediously.

Vi looked past Kai and saw Sasuke blushing. She smiled slyly before beginning to tell more details that she made up on the spot. Kai caught on quickly and glanced over at Kakashi. After that, they both teamed up and let their perverted-yaoi minds take over.

"Oi, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled out. "What are you still doing there?" he asked.

"N... Naruto..." Sasuke said, turning his back to him. Still hearing the hushed conversation, he mumbled something about being late before running off.

"What's with him?" Naruto asked no one in paricular. He then noticed Vi and Kai having a conversation a little ways away. "Oi! Vi, Kai!" They both turned around upon hearing their names called out. "Wanna go grab some ramen with me!" he yelled to them both with a cheek splitting grin on his face.

"You wanna?" Kai asked, turning back to her friend.

"Of course! I'm starving!" Vi said, smiling before they both walked over to Itchiraku's with Naruto.

"I bet ten bucks that whatever I say next will make him spit out his ramen," Kai whispered to Vi as she ate her ramen.

"Your on," Vi whispered back, taking another bite of ramen and looking at them both.

"Hey, Naruto?" Kai asked innocently.

Naruto looked up at her slurping up some ramen. "What?"

She leaned closer to him and poked a finger at his chest. "I know about your darkest secret," Kai hissed to him with a smile.

"N-nani?" Naruto asked, leaning back slightly with a noodle half hanging out of his mouth.

Kai learned in closer and whispered a few things into his ear, Naruto visably paling. She smirked in Vi's direction before whispering one more thing into his ear. Naruto burst out his mouth full of ramen and quickly stood up.

"I-I-I gotta go," he stuttered, walking off quickly.

"Holy shit, what'd you say to him?" Vi asked, both curious about what she said and mad that she just lost ten dollars.

"Oh, just a few little things I learned while reading some fanfics," Kai replied, sticking her tongue out playfully as Vi handed over a ten dollar bill.

"Tch... Cheater," Vi said before yawning. "I'm tired. Where the hell are we staying?"

"Fuck if I know... Let's go look for an inn or something," Kai said, getting up and paying for the ramen with Vi's ten dollars.

Vi and her walked around for a few minutes before she threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "Fuck! We're never gonna find a stupid inn! Does Konoha even _have_ one?"

Sasuke suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of them. Vi stared the patented Elmo stare (tm) and Kai took a step towards Vi as if to protect her from potential danger.

"You two are going to be sleeping with me," Sasuke said.

"Pervert!" Vi said, beginning to throw rocks she found on the ground.

"Rape! Rape!" Kai said, also throwing whatever object her hand came into contact with.

Sasuke dodged all the objects that were thrown at him while trying to control his anger. "I meant at my house, you morons."

They both looked at each other and smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry!" they said in unison before following the fuming boy back to his house.

* * *

"I call Itachi's room!" Kai said grinning and running off in a random direction in the house. 

_How the hell do they know Itachi...?_ Sasuke thought, as memories came flooding back into his mind.

Vi glanced once at Sasuke's dark look before taking off in the direction that Kai went. No one wants to be around the brooding emo avenger...

Vi entered a room where a light was on and saw Kai standing before a closet.

"What're you doing?" Vi asked before looking at the closet Kai was pointing into.

There, inside _the _Uchiha Sasuke's closet was a frilly, _pink _dress.

"... What the fuck?" Vi asked as Kai tried to hold in her laughter beside her.

"Dude... It's pink..."

"And frilly..."

They both looked at each other before collapsing into laughter. "I... I... It's a frilly dress... In Sasuke's closet..." Vi breathed out between her laughter.

"You got a camera on you? Oh my God, I think I broke another rib!" Kai said, clutching her sides and leaning against the wall for support.

"You think we shou—"

"What the hell are you two doing in my clo—" Sasuke stopped to look at the dress in the closet before glaring at them. "It's not mine, you idiots."

They both burst out into laughter again. "I would hope it's not your's Sasuke!" Vi said, leaning against the wall next to Kai.

Sasuke scowled. "Get. Out. _Now_," he said through clenched teeth before they burst out of the room before hearing the door slam shut.

"I sure as hell don't want to be on the recieving end of the Chidori..." Kai mumbled as she walked into the room across the hall.

"Has he even learned that yet?" Vi asked, looking around the room. "Think this is Itachi's?"

"I dunno. Let's check for dresses," Kai said grinning before sliding the closet doors open. The small room, at least that's what it looked like, was almost empty save for a dresser and some magazines.

Vi walked over to the dresser as Kai went to check out the rest of the bedroom. "... Kai, you need to see this," Vi said, trying to muffle her laughter with her hand.

"What?" Kai asked, looking over her shoulder at the magazine before trying to stiffle a laugh. "Is that... Is that..." Kai couldn't finish her sentence before she burst out laughing, using Vi as a support system.

"Yes, it's a Seventeen magazine," Vi finished, her grin nearly reaching her ears as she set it back down on the dresser and opening the top drawer. Her eyes widened considerably as she looked at what was inside. "Errr..."

Kai finally got over her laughing spute and wiped a tear from her eye. "Dude, that was rich," she said before looking back over Vi's shoulder and staring.

In the drawer were picturess of Shisui... In the shower... Naked...

"OH FUCK, MY EYES!" Kai said, quickly covering her eyes and backing into the otherside of the small room.

Vi quickly slammed the drawer shut and leaned against it to keep it shut. "My God, what the hell?"

"... This has gotta be Itachi's room..." Kai mumbled, still covering her eyes as she felt her way out of the room.

Vi quickly followed suit and flopped down onto the bed and rubbing her eyes. "The images are sticking to the inside of my eyelids!" she whined.

"If only there was a jutsu to forgetting images..." Kai mumbled, sitting and leaning against the bed before uncovering her eyes. She laid her head back into the bed and looked at the ceiling. "How the hell did we get here... ?"

"Via a television, Kai," Vi said, sighing and rolling over to pull open the drawer on the night stand.

"Yeah, that's a great. What're we supposed to tell the old geezer? 'Hey, we got here by a black hole that appeared on my television screen after we popped in a video game!'" Kai said ironically. She looked over at what Vi was digging through. "What're you doing?"

"Looking at Sasuke's nakkie baby pictures," Vi answered, taking out a few photos and flipping through them.

"Where?" Kai asked, grabbing one and looking at it before snickering. "Is there a pen or something in there?"

"Yeah. Why?" Vi asked, but digging one out for her anyway. After Kai recieved a pen she quickly scribbled something on the back of a bunch as Vi snickered. "Nice Kai, nice."

* * *

L2Max : Heyoz peeps... We would like to start off on a yaoi to straight poll! 

Sasuke x Naruto (We kinda decided on this one to be permanent.)

Kakashi x Iruka

Neji x TenTen

Someone x Someone - Suggestions?

We might do mostly yaoi 'cause I started to like it and Kai and Vi arein love with it…

Also, give us some fun ideas o.o Or request something. It will all work out in due time...

Alrighty! Someone said that the techniques are hard to follow so below will be the translations to them all.

**Kage Mane no Jutsu - **Shadow Copy Technique  
**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu - **Shadow Clone Technique  
**Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu - **Fire Element: Dragon Fire  
**Baika no Jutsu - **Body Growth Technique  
**Donton Doryuheki - **Earth Element: Earth Rising Wall

... We think that's what they are at least. We did it off the top of L2Max's head o-o;; (Like Kai could remember >.>) Anyway, please review xD xD


	3. Drag Queens

**CHAPTER 3**

Kai : Heyoz minna-san :D :D

L2Max : Yo

Kai : We still do not own Naruto… T-T I know, terrible.

L2Max : If we did, Sasuke and Naruto would be in bed.

Kai : We wanna thank any reviewers we have :D :D

L2Max : Flamers will be accused of eating our cookies.

Kai :-stares-On with the story o-o;;

* * *

Sasuke leaned on the counter in his kitchen and rubbed his temples. He couldn't believe his fucking luck. There were _two psycho girls _sleeping in Itachi's room. "What the hell did I do… ?" 

"Could be that whole 'revenge' thing," Kakashi said, crouching on the table behind Sasuke.

Sasuke whipped around and glared at him. "How the hell did you get in my house?"

"We all have our little secrets," Kakashi replied, his visible eye turning to a half moon.

Sasuke just scowled. "Are you here to take them to the Hokage?" he asked.

"Why? You want to get rid of them already?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes further. "I take that as a yes…" Kakashi said sighing. "Where are they?"

Sasuke led his teacher to Itachi's room. He hesitated before opening the door, but got over it quickly. As he pushed open the door he could hear light snoring.

_It's almost noon. Are they still sleeping?_ Sasuke thought incredulously before Kakashi walked into the room.

Kai and Vi were sprawled on the bed with the covers tangled about their legs.

"Awww, how cute," Kakashi said, his eye again going into a half moon to show his amusement. Sasuke glanced at him before turning around and going back into the kitchen.

Kakashi kneeled beside the bed and poked Vi in the forehead. She cracked an eye open to look at him before jumping backwards in surprise and screaming "SCARECROW RAPE!" before pushing Kai off the bed.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "Scarecrow rape?"

"Shit!" Vi said, staring wide-eyed at Kakashi. "What the hell are you doing? Giving me a heart attack?"

Kakashi looked amused as Kai pulled her upper body onto the bed. "What the hell are _you_ doing? Giving me a concussion?" she said, glaring at Vi as she rubbed her forehead.

"Sorry," Vi mumbled, getting up and throwing the blankets back onto the bed. "What time is it?"

"It's five after noon," Kakashi offered, standing to his full height.

"You woke us up this early for what now?" Kai asked him, stretching and stifling a yawn.

"The Hokage wishes to speak with you. Seeing as how you have no new clothes to change into, you can borrow some of Sasuke's. Ja ne," Kakashi said, waving slightly before hopping out the window.

"He gave us permission," Vi shrugged, walking over to Sasuke's room to dig through his closet as Kai went to go look for a few toothbrushes.

"It'd be a lot easier if Sasuke would just _show _us where this shit was…" Kai mumbled to herself as she dug through the medicine cabinet. Vi walked into the bathroom a few minutes later with two pairs of white shorts and two black shirts.

"It's the only thing I could find that wouldn't make it look like we _did _dig through his closet," Vi said, setting them onto the counter.

"Fine by me. We can always raid Sakura's closet later or something," Kai said, tossing Vi a tooth brush and squirting some toothpaste onto her own.

"Why the hell would we dig through her closet?" Vi asked as Kai stuck her toothbrush into her mouth.

"Why not? We can steal her clothes and then trash it as we walk down the street," Kai said around her toothbrush.

Vi shrugged and they both finished brushing their teeth before changing into their borrowed clothes.

"What the hell? Does he have bigger hips than we do?" Kai asked, pulling up the shorts to keep them from falling down as Vi and she made their way to the front door where Sasuke was waiting for them. Vi shrugged as Sasuke tossed them both a pair of sandals and walked out the door.

"Morning to you too," Vi said as she rolled her eyes.

On their way to the Hokage's office, they ran into the rest of team seven. Naruto crossed his arms and ignored them both while grumbling about how they were worse than Kakashi. Sasuke was his usual, brooding self and Sakura tried to start up some conversation.

"So, how'd you sleep?" she asked.

Kai looked at Vi as she mumbled, "AKA, did you do anything to my Sasuke?" Kai tried to stifle her laughter and Sakura looked at them both confused.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. We had a good nights sleep. We even found some cool things in Sasuke's clo—" Kai clapped a hand into Vi's mouth before she blurt anything out.

"Found cool things in Sasuke's what?" Sakura asked. _Yes! I'll finally get to know something about Sasuke on a personal level!_ Inner Sakura was dancing for joy in her head as she calmly walked next to the other two girls.

Sasuke shot the two a glare before they could even open their mouth. "… Nothing!" Kai said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

Sakura sighed in defeat as Inner Sakura thought of ways to pound their heads into the ground.

* * *

Vi and Kai soon found themselves sitting on two cushy chairs in front of the Hokage. The old man was calmly signing a few papers as Kai shifted in her seat. Vi shot her a look and Kai shrugged helplessly. "I can't help it! I can't sit still for so long," she whispered to her before shifting again. Vi sighed and looked at the Hokage as he set his pen down and smiled at them both. 

"Welcome to The Hidden Village of the Leaf. My name is—"

"Sarutobi. You're the Third Hokage or Sandaime," Kai finished for him.

He looked at them in surprise. "Then you know about our village?" he asked.

"Errr… Yeah," Vi said.

"Who are you two, exactly?" he asked them, sitting back in his chair and puffing on his pipe.

"I'm Kai, she's Vi," Kai said to him, eyeing his pipe with disapproval. "We're both fourteen years old and we're from… Errr… Not here."

"Not here? Where then?"

"We're from a city," Vi said.

"Don't ask," Kai said to him grimly.

"How'd you get here then?" he asked them curiously.

"We came through a TV screen after we popped in a video game," Vi said.

"Don't even bother asking," Kai said again.

The Sandaime looked at them both curiously. "So… You came from a city that I can't ask about through a television and video game that I also can't ask about…"

"Yesh!" Kai said smiling as Vi slapped her forehead.

_That _does _sound ridiculous… _Vi thought to herself.

"Look, we really have no idea how the hell we got here. One minute we were sitting in front of Kai's TV and the next we were in the forest outside of Konoha," Vi said, trying to mend his suspicion.

The Third nodded and sat back in his chair thinking. "You have no idea how you got here?" He got a few nods as an answer. "But you know about this village and what it does?" A few more nods. "Are you two ninja?"

"If we were ninja, you think we would've gotten caught?" Kai asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You raise a valid point…" Sarutobi mused, taking another puff on his pipe. "But you know what ninja are and what they do?"

"They throw sharp, pointy stars at each other and set off tags that go BOOM!" Vi said grinning as Kai stifled a laugh behind her hand.

The Hokage chuckled deep in his throat. "Yes, yes. I suppose we'll just have to keep you under surveillance until someone comes looking for you."

"I doubt anyone's going to come looking…" Kai whispered to Vi, who nodded an affirmative.

"Kakashi and his team will look after you two. Let me introduce you to them all," he said, calling for them all to come in. As they stepped in, Naruto grinned and waved, Sasuke crossed his arms, and Sakura gave a half hearted wave.

"Kakashi, I talked to you about this yesterday. Is your team up to it?"

"They have no choice. If I accept the mission, they'll take the mission," Kakashi said, his eye curving up happily.

"I'll let you introduce these two to your team, then. I'm off to take care of some business in the village," the Third said, getting up and strolling out of the room.

"Well, let's do formal introductions. Like when I first got assigned you three," Kakashi said, turning towards Kai and Vi. "We—"

"State your name, what you like, what you hate, and your main goal in life. Right?" Kai said, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes. How about we start with you?" Kakashi asked, looking at Vi.

"My name is Vivian. I like to molest Aiba's hair and I like revolving doors. You can smack people with them." Kai snickered. "I also like my oversize take-out box. It's got my name on it even. And I love Kai. She's my bestest buddie!" Vi said grinning. "Err… I dislike vanilla ice cream and filler episodes. No offence to the _Star_ Village or anything. Hmmm… My main goal in life is to defeat Sephiroth!" she finished with a grin.

Kai took this time to burst out laughing. "Alright, how about you?" Kakashi asked Kai pointedly as the three genin looked at Vi as if she were insane.

"Hmm… My name is Kairstin. But no one can pronounce or spell it right so Kai is fine. I like chocolate and reading about Sasuke and Naruto fucking each other's brains out," Kai said smiling.

Naruto and Sasuke both coughed to try and cover up their blushes. "What the hell, dattebayo?.!" Naruto said, scowling in her direction.

"Yeah, yeah," Kai said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Okay, I also love Vivian. She's been my bestest friend since… Forever. I dislike the fear of spiders I have. I dunno _why _I'm afraid of them, I just am. And don't get any ideas," Kai said, glaring at everyone in the room.

Vi raised her hands in front of her as if to defend herself. "I didn't say anything."

"But you were thinking it!" Kai said, poking her in the shoulder. "What else…? Oh, and I hate Ino and Sakura. I'd like nothing more than to rip off Ino's pony tail and to whap Sakura in the face with it. I guess that could be my main goal in life too…" Kai mused.

Naruto and Vivian took this time to laugh their asses off as Sakura sputtered in disbelief.

"Wh—What the hell have I ever done to you!" Sakura finally got out, completely outraged.

"Nothing," Kai offered, smiling at her. "I just don't like you."

Sakura harrumphed and stomped out of the room.

* * *

It was the next day, and all in all, it wasn't wonderful. 

"Give me the eyeliner, Vi," whispered Kai, staring hard at their patient.

Sleeping peacefully, unaware of two psycho-maniacs putting makeup on his face, lay Sasuke. A long, hard mission had made him a heavy sleeper and an easy patient to work on.

"Oh! What about the red hot lipstick?" Vi asked, rubbing some on his hand to see the color contrast.

"That works too, how about some eye shadow?" Kai asked, choosing between purple and pretty-in-pink palace colors.

"Purple makes him look like a drag queen though," Vi stated, staring at his feminine face.

"I'll just put them both," Kai said, unable to choose a color.

"All we need is foundation and voila! There! He's done," Vi yelled happily, waking Sasuke in the process.

"Mph psdf," Sasuke mumbles, coming to the world of the living.

"Fuck! Hide!" yelled out Kai.

"Shit!" Vi said as she dove under the bed, dragging Kai down with her.

Sasuke bolted up straight, looking around for any enemies. Seeing none, he walked towards his closet and began stripping down to change.

"Oh my fucking god, is he changing in here?.!" Kai whispered in disbelief, as a shirt fell to the floor.

"I don't know, but do you have a camera?" asked Vi, watching a pair of pants fall to the ground.

"Do you think he is a boxer guy or a tightie whities kind of guy?" Vi asked, staring out the crack in the bed.

"I dunno, but we are about the find out," said Kai as the last clothing fell, revealing… BOXERS!

Vi stared in disbelief as he dug around in his closet for who knows what. She then produced a huge grin on her face as she thought up pervy, pervy things.

"Hey, do you know the summoning hand signs?" Vi whispered.

"… I think so yeah. Why?" Kai asked.

"Summon Naruto," Vi said with an evil grin.

Kai tried to stifle her laughter as she quickly made the hand gestures. "**KYUICHOSE NO JUTSU!**"

Naruto appeared in a puff of smoke under the bed, dawned in his pajamas and his little bear hat. "Wha—What the hell, dattebayo?.!" he yelled, trying to sit up, but hitting his head on the bed. "ITAI!"

Kai quickly pushed him out from under the bed to avoid anymore damage to his head.

"What in fuckin' hell are you doing in my room?" Sasuke asked, turning to look at Naruto, Kai and Vi as they pushed themselves off from the ground. Noting that he was _naked_ in front of the three he quickly covered himself with his hands and scowled.

"I dunno why the hell I'm her—" Naruto burst out laughing after seeing Sasuke's face. "Wha—Wha—What the hell did you do?.!" he said between his breathes.

"What the hell are you talking about, dobe?" Sasuke asked, turning around and looking in the mirror above his dresser. He twitched. He twitched again. Once more. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TWO DO?.!" he screamed at them both.

"… I told you the purple made him look like a drag queen," Vi said, poking Kai in the side and causing her to squeak.

"Well… Err… We'll be going now," Kai said quickly. She grabbed the hem of Naruto's pants and yanked them down. Vi pushed him onto the bed as Kai grabbed Sasuke and pushed him on top of Naruto. "Bye!" she said, Vi and her quickly jutting out of the room and slamming the door.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at the door dumbfounded. It opened a few seconds later and Kai popped her head in.

"Before I forget," she started. She whipped out a camera and quickly took one or three pictures. She grinned and slammed the door shut once again.

------:SOMEWHERE NEAR THE STONE VILLAGE:-------

"Kisame, you jackass! I asked for _pink_ nail polish!" yelled out a Sasuke look alike.

"I'm sorry Itachi, but they ran out! They said some womanly man took the last bottle!" yelled Kisame, afraid of what may happen.

------:SOMEWHERE IN THE SOUND VILLAGE:-------

"Kabuto, help me paint my nails."

* * *

A/N: Alrighty :D Hope you had fun reading it. Everything that Vi and Kai said about their hobbies and what not is true. We took it directly from the source. Kai and Vi have always make fun of the Naruto series xD xD They love it to death, but it's such a fun anime tomake fun of. Not like they can help it. 

Okay for those of you who ask, Aiba is an actor from the Prince of Tennis - Real Action Movie movie. Vi's oversized take-out box is what she lives in o-o;; Long story... Okay, it's not that long, but I still won't share it. Kai does fear spiders. _A lot_. Don't even mention it or she freaks. Revolving doors... That's been an inside joke for so long I don't even know the inital joke that started it off...

And L2Max would like to say that whenever you say review she gets to prove her sister wrong and whack her upside the head! And her sister is almost never wrong o-o;;

So, please review and say nice things! Ja ne, minna-san!


	4. Explainations

**CHAPTER 4**

L2Max : Yo, this is chapter 4, and we thank anyone who reads this.

Kai : Heyoz everyone :D

L2Max : I am appearing in this fanfic cause some people won't stop bothering me.

Kai : -cough**IVY**cough- Anywho... I don't think this chapter is as funny as the other three... But, don't fear! The humor will come back full force as soon as we have the important stuff out of the way!

L2Max : Before that though, TAKE THE POLL and we have about 102 hits so REVIEW and we thank Nechell for favoring us o-o.

Vi : looks up What important stuff?.! ... Wait, what am I doing here? >.>; -wanders off-

* * *

A young girl was sitting in front of her computer, reading Shounen Jump and listening to some music. She had a backpack still attached behind her upon just returning from a camping trip with her family. Her attention was turned to the little blinking light on the bottom of the screen. She moved the arrow to click it and opened up a chat with Vi and Kai. 

L2Max : whats up?

Underneath the underneath : Would you like to join Naruto and his friends on an on going adventure?

L2Max : ... you ok Kai?

. : Join us now by typing Naruto World : .

L2Max : uhh... Naruto World?

The minute she pressed enter, she disappeared in a flash of light.

* * *

"Vi and Kai. We would like you two to start off on Team Seven since you know them so well," started the Hokage. "And then you will be joining Team Gai, Eight, and Ten, in that order." 

"Alright... Wait, what's that dot?" asked Vi, looking out the window.

"I have no fuckin' clue, but it's heading for the window!" Kai yelled out, grabbing her friend and ducking under the desk.

As they hit the floor, the window was crashed through by an Anbu member, who seemed as if he was burnt, wet, and covered in mud. The Hokage stood from his chair and asked the man what was wrong.

"Girl... Found in forest... Not far from the gates... Freaked out and attacked us..." was all the man said before tumbling into blissful unconsciousness.

"Oh my fugging God! You're touching me, you perv!"the three heard someone scream out. Vi and Kai poked their heads above the top of the desk, both on either side of the Hokage.

Just as the man before had done, another Anbu crashed through the other window, more injured than the man before.

"What is going on here!.?" asked the Hokage, clearly pissed at his broken windows.

"We found a girl near the gates, sir... She went beserk and attacked us, saying we were fake. I was trying to restrain her and grabbed her... Apparently she doesn't like to be grabbed..." the man finished, falling to the ground due to fatigue. Vi reacted quickly and kneeled beside him to slap him awake. "Huh?" the man said groggily.

"Is the girl about five foot three with black hair and browns eyes?" Kai asked, grabbing the man's shoulders and shaking him awake.

"Umm.. Yeah, why?" asked the man, not noticing the he was being bossed around by a non-genin ninja.

"I think we may know who she is."

* * *

"You think she's an enemy?" a shadow asked, looking at the girl suspicously. 

"No, she doesn't seem like a ninja at all," a more feminine voice replied.

The girl's eyes fluttering open.

"Oh god, my head is pounding," the girl said, grabbing her head as she propped herself up on an elbow.

"Hey you, state your identity," the woman demanded.

"Who the hell are you?" Cherry asked. (A/N : L2Max : Me o-o)

"Heh, she's got your potty mouth," the man chuckled, pointing at the woman playfully. The lady just glared back.

"We are Konoha Anbu patrol. Who are you?" she asked, ignoring the comment from before.

"Heh, don't lie to me. I'm in my room and you four are so fake," she said, pointing to all four of them.

"Why I oughta!" said a man, moving forward only to be blocked.

Cherry started to stand and looked around. She noticed this was a forest... Certainly not her room. Not far off, she saw a large gate. 'That looks like the gates from... OH MY GOD! #$!"

"This is a dream, this is a dream," she began chanting over and over like a mantra. The others just stared, thinking she was mentally ill.

"I think you better come with us, little girl," one said, moving forward to grab her.

"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me," she said, backing away.

"Look your coming with us and that's final," the man stated, glaring at her behind his mask.

"**KATON: RYUUKA NO JUTSU**!" she screamed, blowing the man away in a cloud of fire. The others saw the danger and immeadiatly went into battle stances.

"**DOTON : DORYUHEKI NO JUTSU**!" she yelled, blocking a barrage of kunais and shurikens.

All the Anbu had one thought in their minds at this point. _'How in the seven layers of hell does she know all these jutsus?'_

"**HIRAISHIN**!" she yelled lastly, disappearing from sight.

"Shit! This is Anbu patrol X3. We have an issue. Moving to intercept. Requesting backup and Nara's presence now," the leader stated into her headpiece, barking orders to the remaining two.

* * *

"This is a dream... That explains the jutsus!" she stated happily, laying against a tree and lacing her fingers behind her head. "This is one awesome dream! I wonder if the-" she was cut off shortly when she was grabbed from behind. 

Two things were now on her mind. _'OH MY FUCKIN' GOD! IS HE TOUCHING ME?.!'_ and '_HE IS SO GOING DOWN!'_

"Oh my fugging God! You're touching me, you perv!" she screamed out as she reared her leg back and kicked the man in the jewels. His grip loosened on her and she took this chance to turn around and punch the man senseless. She fried the man with three different fire techniques, two earth techniques, and a few water ones as well. The man was blown off into the distant sky, just like the man before him.

The man and women that were left felt a sickening killer intent, stronger then Itachi and Orochimaru's put together. _And that's saying something, _they both thought.

The two came into a clearing with many charred, wet, and muddy areas. Many signs of battle was left behind as they saw the girl running towards the gates.

'_This is a dream... There is no other reason for all these jutsus... I'll head to the gates and probably wake up... Damn my arm hurts... Wait... My arm is hurting?.! SHIT!'_

Coming back from her thoughts, she noticed that her legs would not stop moving beneath her.

"Awww, shit. I can't stop," she said. Thinking quickly, she made a few hand seals and a blue light started to erupt from her palm.

"**CHIDORI**!"

It was small, but it was strong enough to blow a hole threw the gates, just big enough for her to duck into.

* * *

"You really think it's Cherry?" Vi asked, heading towards the gates with Kai at her side. 

"I dunno, but fuck, who else would lash out like that if someone touched her?" Kai replied, only to be blown backwards by flying debris.

Vi and Kai quickly got to their feet and looked around. A lone figure emerged from the dust. As it cleared, the girl with black hair and brown eyes appeared.

"Oh my god. It's you two!" she said incrediously, pointing to the two of them before slumping over in a deep sleep.

"**Forced sleep jutsu, Kage mane,**" two figures called out.

"You two have some explaining to do," the Hokage said, walking up behind the two of them. The two girls smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of their heads.

* * *

Kai and Vi were currently sitting beside a hospital bed, a certain brunette laying down in said bed unconscious. Well, Vi was sitting beside the bed. Kai had the top part of her body sprawled across the legs of the patient, sleeping soundly. 

Vi sweatdropped. "We haven't even done anything today and she's tired..."

The door opened and Vi look over her shoulder. The Hokage walked over to the three girls and looked over the patient before looking at Kai and sweatdropping.

"I assume you know who the girl is?" Sandaime asked, looking at Vi.

"Yeah. Her name is Cherry. We've known her for... a few... weeks?" Vi mused to herself as she tried to count on her fingers.

"She's not an enemy then?" he asked, flickering his eyes towards Cherry suspicously.

"Nope! She's a friend of ours," Vi said, poking Kai in the side. Kai jumped and fell off her chair, making a loud _thud_ as she hit the floor.

"Don't do that, fuck!" Kai said, scowling as she flopped back down into her chair. "... Oh, hello Hokage-san!" she said with a grin and a small wave.

He smiled at them both. "I'm counting on you two to explain the situation to your friend. You won't have to start training until tomorrow," he said before departing the room.

"You hear that? We got out of a day of training!" Kai said happily. "Thanks Cherry!" she said, poking her friend in the arm, only to have her hand whacked away.

Vi and Kai looked at the shocked face of Cherry before smiling brightly.

"Heyoz Rei!" Kai said with a grin.

Cherry looked at them both incrediously. "What the fuck... ?" she asked herself, moving to pinch her arm only to have her hand meet with a bandage. "... What the fuck again?" she asked.

"Chidori hurts the arm, ya know..." Vi stated. Cherry snapped her head up to look at her, causing Vi to raise an eyebrow. "What's up with you?" she asked.

"Let's see..." Cherry started. "I got in a chat with Kai and you and Kai said to type 'Naruto World' to have an on going adventure with Naruto and the gang," she said, making a few air quotes. "I have to say, this is one screwed up dream... You guys even look like you do in the pictures you sent me!"

"... What dream?" Kai asked. "And we were never in a chat with you... Not like they have internet connection in this world."

"What the hell do you mean what dre—Ow!" Cherry said, slapping Kai's hand away after she pinched her.

"See? No dream," Vi said, rubbing her arms. "Shit, I'm cold..."

"Think the brooding emo is coming?" Kai asked, causing Vi to laugh as Cherry looked at them both incrediously.

"This really isn't a dream? I really did do all those techniques and... stuff?" she asked cautiously.

"Yesh!" they both said in unison with huge grins on their faces.

Cherry looked at them both with no expression on her face before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell back into the pillows.

"... Perhaps that wasn't the best approach..." Vi muttered as Kai silently agreed.

They silently waited for a few hours, having nurses come in and out changing bandages every once and a while. Falling asleep, they leaned on each other as support until Kai fell off.

"The fuck?" Kai asked, picking herself off the floor. Only to have Vi fall on top of her. Just then, the door opened to reveal... DUN DUN DUN! ...SASUKE!

After a few moments of akward silence, Sasuke was the first to break it.

"I'll leave you two in your moment..." he said, backing away slowly and closing the door.

"No... No wait! This isn't what it looks like!" Kai screamed out after him.

"Keep it down Kai, I'm trying to sleep," Vi replied, cuddling up against the blanket.

Kai could only glare. **WHACK!** Two screams could be heard throughout Konoha.

"_What the hell was that for_?.!" and "_You don't even know the half of it_!" As well as "_Shut the fuck up_!"

* * *

L2Max : Heyozs minna!

Kai : Told you it would get funnier after the important stuff was out of the way :D

L2Max : I would like to say, Kai isn't the only one writing, ya know. 5th or 6th chapter is the start of MISSIONS AND KEKKEI GENKAIS! (And summons.) That little review thing down there, everytime we get one, I get to whack my sister upside the head, proving her wrong!

Kai : WHEE! I'd whack her, but I'm in another state. O-o;; And I don't think she hates me yet... I think I'll let Ivy's "dirty little secret" handle the whacking. –runs off before she gets killed-


	5. Imma Ninja!

**CHAPTER 5**

Kai : WHEE! We ish back with another chapter! –throws confetti-

L2Max : Whooo

Kai : I wrote this chapter, so I dunno if it's quite as good as the other ones where I just added stuff o-o;; I actually made this stuff up… So… Don't be mean to me o-o;;

L2Max : Remember now… KAI WROTE THIS STUFF! -hides behind rock-

* * *

"So… Explain where we are in the timeline again," Rei said, picking up another piece of fish and popping it into her mouth. 

Kai did the same as Vi started talking. "When we asked the Hokage to give us a chart so we could see what missions Team Seven has done so far, it shows that they haven't even gotten to that weirdo cat lady mission yet."

"So, we'll probably be with them as they go on that Zabuza mission," Kai said as Rei went to get another piece of fish. "Hopefully, we can keep the two freaks from actually _dying _this time around."

She nodded before takinganother bite. "So… We're going to be hanging with Team Seven, Gai, Eight, and Ten, in that order. What the hell are we doing after that?"

"Either we'll each get assigned to one of those teams orthe old manwill just assign us three as a team," Vi said, poking at a few vegetables. "Personally, I hope it's the latter…"

"Same here, Vi," Kai said. Setting down her chopsticks, she resting her elbow on the table to prop her head up.

Rei shrugged and set her chopsticks down as well. They all sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before she asked, "Kai, why did you rush us out of the Uchiha manor so quickly… ?"

Kai grinned that evil grin of hers. "Let's just say Sasuke will be going on another 'revenge' rampage."

* * *

Sasuke stomped around the house, looking for his three newest headaches. "Why do they have to stay in _my _house, dammit?.!" 

He secured the towel around his waist before slamming open the door to Itachi's room. Seeing that it was empty, he pulled at his hair in frustration.

He stomped back to his own room before slamming the door shut and looking through all his drawers for at least _one _pair of boxers that didn't have chibi Naruto's all over it.

* * *

"_You put what in Sasuke Uchiha's drawer_?.!" Rei practically screamed, pointing at the two accusingly. 

"Vi and I got specially tailored chibi Naruto undies for Sasuke-chan!" Kai said with a giggle, her chair falling backwards.

She quickly climbed back in her chair and filled her friend in on what she missed before she arrived in Konoha. Vi added a bunch of details and a few minor things that Kai forgot to mention. In the middle of their discussion, Kakashi poofed in with his infamous orange book, the usual lazy atmosphere surrounding him.

"Yo," he said, giving a small wave with his unoccupied hand.

"Holy! It's Kakashi!" Rei screamed, pointing wildly at the man. "You're that ex-Anbu White Wolf platoon leader dude that lost 2 comrades," Rei said, taking a deep breath afterwards.

Kakashi just stared at the young girl. Sure, _he_ knew all that, but how would _she_ know that? Especially since she just arrived in the village?

"Uhh... I need to talk to you... Rei, was it?" he asked, still slightly disturbed by how much she knew.

"Hai!" she replied quickly.

Vi and Kai stated that they we're going to head in for the night and would be located at the Uchiha Manor.

* * *

: **SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW** :

* * *

"How do you know the Chidori?" asked Kakashi, being serious for once. 

"Uhh... The Internet?" Rei said, as if unsure of her answer. The question caught her slightly off guard. "How can you not know the Chidori? And big brother Raikiri!" she said with a grin before it fell off her face. 'Oh fuck...'

"You know the Raikiri too now, eh?" Kakashi asked with interest. 'What the hell is an Internet?'

"Uhh... Oh my God! _Distraction_!" Rei yelled out, pointing off in some random direction. To her amazement, he followed the gaze of her finger. His stupidity was her gain as she sped off to the Uchiha manor.

* * *

Bursting through the doors, Rei ducked into a random room and hid. 

"Goddamn, that was a close one..." she whispered to herself, trying to catch her breath.

She took a moment to look around. 'This room is oddly familiar...' She thought to herself, looking over the room once more before recognition dawned on her face. '_The Murder_!' She crawled silently to wear the parents once laid in a bloody mess. 'The stains are gone...' she observed. After looking at the spot for a few more moments, she got up and left the cursed room.

* * *

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Kai hissed under her breath as she evaded another fire based technique with a duck. "I didn't think he'd _actually _go on a rampage!" 

"Maybe he's finally realizing the truth about his feelings because of all our pranks and he's mad about it!" Vi said in excitement before grabbing Kai and ducking behind a wall.

"Or maybe he's mad because we threw out all his other underwear…" Kai mumbled, looking around the corner as her friend tried to think of how they could possibly get out of getting fried.

"I'm going to _kill _you," Sasuke hissed in a deadly voice from behind the both of them. They both turned wide, fearful eyes towards him as he set up the proper seals.

"Fuck!" Kai and Vi said in unison as they both ran down the hall to avoid getting hit with the deadly stream of fire. As they skidded around the corner the fire ceased for a moment before Sasuke started the necessary seals at the beginning of the corridor.

They both screamed as the fire followed behind them closely. As Rei walked out of the room brushing off imaginary dust, she looked up to find Kai and Vi screaming as their feet pounded down the hallway. Her eyes widened as she noticed what was following them and quickly started running with her two friends as they neared.

"What the hell?.!" Rei asked as they all skidded around another corner and raced down another random hallway. "Thank god this house is huge!"

"What the hell are we gonna do?.! I like my life, thanks!" Kai said between breaths.

"Okay, okay. I got an idea," Vi said, rushing them all into some random room and slamming the door.

"What the hell? Now we're cornered!" Rei said, slapping Vi upside the head.

"I know, I know! But we can make some water barrier to stop his revenge type rampage!" Vi said, covering her head with a slight pout. "All we need are the necessary seals and the correct amount of chakra!"

"Oh, and you know these just off the top of your fuckin' head?.!" Kai asked sarcastically. They all turned towards the door as they heard Sasuke running down the hallway.

"No! But Rei should know!" Vi said, turning to Rei hopefully. "You know most of the ninjutsu stuffs! Come on!"

Rei looked at her as if she had grown a second head. "Err… I don't know if I know one…" she said, stroking her chin in a thoughtful fashion.

The footsteps stopped and they all froze in fear. "Oh fuck, hurry up and think!" Kai hissed.

Rei started forming a few seals just as Sasuke screamed out, "**KATON: HOUSENKA**!"

Fire hurdled towards the three girls and engulfed the entire room in red and orange. As the fire died down, Sasuke breathed out a puff of smoke before waiting for the smoke around the room to clear out. As it cleared, his eyes widened and his jaw went slack.

In the middle of the room, the three girls were huddled together behind a large, clear wall of water, all completely unharmed.

"… What the hell?" he muttered as he took in the sight before him.

Rei, Vi, and Kai all rose their heads cautiously out from under their arms. Upon seeing the wall they all stared in disbelief.

"… Zoh my God. Rei, you did it," Kai said in utter shock.

"Holy shit, I did…" she mumbled, moving to touch the wall. Before her hand could make contact, the wall of water splashed down on all the occupants in the room. The four kids stood in the middle of the room, totally drenched from head to toe.

"You couldn't wait until we left the room to let it go… ?" Vi asked, Kai and her standing up and wringing out their shirts.

Sasuke blew his mop of hair away from his face before glaring at the three. "You are cleaning this up," he said before stomping down the hallway. In the distance they could here the front door slam shut.

"… Least he forgot about frying us…" Rei said with a sheepish grin.

* * *

"They're _what_?.!" Sakura screamed at Team Seven's teacher. 

Kakashi stuck his pinky in his ear and mumbled something about girls and their high pitched screeching. "I _said_," he emphasized, "that Rei, Vi, and Kai will be joining our team for the time being. Hokage-sama feels that they know enough of the basics to be at least a low level genin."

As he finished his explanation, Sasuke walked up with an annoyed scowl on his face, their three new team members walking behind him.

"Dude, we're _ninjas_!" Kai said in excitement, tying her hi-ate around her forehead, her bangs falling over it. "This is so fuckin' awesome!"

Vi and Rei did the same with their headbands and grinned.

"Wait till we get home and brag about _this_," Vi said, her hair tied behind her head in a pony tail.

"Ya know, I highly doubt we'll get home anytime soon…" Rei said, moving to brush her fingers across the Konoha leaf. "I mean, it's not like you guys have the game on you and there's no PS2 in this world." _'Awww, man… I wanted to be a Suna Ninja…'_

"We'll invent the damn thing!" Sasuke mumbled, causing the three to turn and glare at him. As they reached the bridge that Team Seven always met at, they were greeted by Kakashi and Naruto's smile and wave and Sakura's level glare.

"… What the fuck is her problem?" Kai asked dead-panned, pointing at Sakura. She raised a fist at her in anger before turning around and mumbling to herself about pounding Kai into an inch of her life.

_Tick… Tick… Tick..._Small dots ran above the heads of the five genin members and their jounin teacher.

Kakashi coughed slightly to get everyone's their attention. "Alright team, let's get to the academy for our mission assignment."

They arrived just as a few non-genin teams started to leave. When it was their turn to receive an assignment, they all presented themselves in front of the Hokage.

"Team Seven ready for duty," Kakashi said with a slight bow. "What do you have for us today?"

"An important possession of one of the Fire Country's feudal lord's wife has gone missing. Your teams job is a simple sweep and capture mission. All information that you'll need to identify the target and last known location is in this folder," the Hokage said with a slight smile.

Kakashi took the folder from his outstretched hand and frowned slightly. _You gotta be kidding…_

"Good luck!" he said, waving to the three girls as the team left.

* * *

Kai : WHEE! Check out chapter 6 to see what Kakashi is so upset about!

L2Max : Though I think you know o-o;;

Kai : Please review o-o;; We're getting tired of not getting any reviews when we _know _people are reading this. So we're not going to post chapter six until we get FIVE (5) reviews for this chapter. And be nice to me, please? o-o;

L2Max : I know o-o, Oh, well... I wanted to be a Suna nin T.T!

Kai : Ja mata ne, minna-san!


	6. I'm Taller!

**CHAPTER 6**

Vi : Yare yare, I'm writing a chapter. 'Least a part of one anyway. o-o;;

Kai : Vi, you wrote five fuckin' pages. I think you deserve all the credit.

L2Max : She got her inspiration back!

Kai : We thank you for sticking with us for six whole chapters! Please keep reviewing for it inspires us! And perhaps makes our egos grow a little –cough-

L2Max : I thought our MSN chats inspired things. o-o;;

* * *

"Get it off! Get it off! _Get_. _It_. _OFF_!" Naruto screamed as an angry, brown cat clawed fiercely at the poor blonde's face. His cries echoed deep within the surrounding forest. Half his teammates stared in puzzlement while the other half were highly amused at the show that was being displayed. 

"Sucker!" Kai pointed and laughed. "That's what you get for trying to sneak up on it, fuck."

"Shut up and help, dattebayo!"

Vi blinked and knelt beside Naruto, who was rolling around on the grass in attempts to free himself from the violent cat. "Aw, isn't that a cute little kitty," she said as she plucked the cat right off the struggling blonde. "Did that evil Naruto scare you?" The cat clung to her as if to say 'yes'.

Naruto sat up and nursed his wounds. "Phew, that was close. Thanks."

"No problem. Now you need to repay me in some way," she smiled innocently. "Hm… How about you make out with the brooding emo over there before I sick this cute little cat on you?" she continued to smile, but more sinister this time.

Kai gave a cheer as Rei sighed. "Same old Vi."

The original members of Team 7 became dead silent as they let their imaginations flow.

3…

2…

1…

0!

"_What the fuck was that_?.!" Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura shouted in union, all pointing accusing fingers at her.

"And stop calling me a brooding emo, you little prick!" Sasuke began to form hand seals as Vi took off running.

"What is this? The fifth time he's tried to fry me?.!"

Kakashi stopped him before he could finish the jutsu. "Now, now, they're still a part of our team. It will do no good to finish them off. Besides, they were only kidding. Right?" He turned to Kai.

"Of course we were." She started to act all innocent. "We would _never, ever_ be serious about something like that. I kid you not. The chibi Naruto undies were all just a childish prank that meant nothing."

Sakura stared in horror. "What is that suppose to mean?.! I know you three are up to something! Leave my poor Sasuke-chan alon—"

"Let's go find Vi before she accidentally kills herself!" Rei interrupted while dragging Kai by the collar in a random direction. "Or before you or I are _intentionally_ killed," she murmured.

Sasuke twitched. _'Did Huge-forehead-girl just call me Sasuke-chan…?"  
__

* * *

_

"Vi, where the fuck are you?" Kai called. The other members were spread out behind her as they looked for their missing comrade.

"I say we just ditch her," Naruto said with his arms crossed.

"But she's with that cat. We need to capture it in order to complete this mission," Rei stated.

"Besides, I need to kill her." An evil gleam flashed across Sasuke's eyes. Kai and Rei sweat dropped as they all continued to search.

"Hey, I found her." Sakura pointed to a branch on a nearby tree. Vi was sitting on said branch while playing with the cat. The others wondered how she could maintain her balance as Vi noticed the group approaching.

"Hey Vi, time to head back to the creepy cat lady," Rei said to her friend.

"No, the emo will try to turn me into barbeque or something."

Sasuke twitched and walked over to the tree. Vi let out a small 'eep' before Sasuke gave the trunk a nice, hard kick. The force shook the tree, and down fell Vi with a loud thump. The cat jumped gracefully beside her.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow… What was that for?" Vi sniffled as she sat up and rubbed the small of her back. The cat meowed and jumped back into her arms.

"Time to go," he said in annoyance as he dragged Vi off by the collar. The others followed in silence.

* * *

Naruto sat on the railing of the bridge as he, Sasuke, and Sakura waited for the rest of their party to meet. They had all agreed to assemble at their usual meeting place before embarking on whatever their next mission will be. Only three of the seven had actually showed up on time. The time ticked by as the three waited in silence. 

"Yosh!"

"Whaaaaah?.!"

_Splash_!

Kai had appeared out of nowhere and startled the blonde, causing him to loose his balance. Kai peered over the side of the bridge, only to find a very drenched and angry Naruto. "What the hell was that for?.!" he yelled.

Kai retorted, "It's not my fault you're a stupid fox who can't even keep his balance on a fuckin' railing! And you call yourself a ninja!"

Kai and Naruto began to quarrel over whose fault it was that he fell while the others ignored them.

"What took you guys so long?" Sasuke asked with a menacing look. "We've been waiting here for over half an hour."

"Do you know how hard it is to get Kai and Vi out of bed?" Rei twitched. Vi only pouted.

Sakura let out a sigh. "Well, we still have to wait for Kakashi-sensei before we can find out about our next mission."

Before they could say anything more, another splash was heard.

"It wasn't me!" Kai yelled. She dashed off in the direction of the Hokage's place. The others looked over and saw that Naruto had fallen into the river… again.

Just then, Kakashi poofed in with his usual happy expression. "What'd I miss?"

* * *

"What? I have the same birth month as that creepy cat lady?" Vi sighed. "She practically killed the poor cat." 

"Yes, yes, but at least you don't have the same birth month as the Michael Jackson wannabe." Rei looked over at Kai.

Kai mimic the snake bastard. "Ooooooh, Sasuke! I want your body!" She made a gagging noise. "At least I share the same birthday as Naruto. So ha!"

"I've got the same birthday as some random Rain ninja who's left handed. That guy stole my birthday _and_ my hand preference! Damn you, stupid Rain ninja person!" Vi flailed her arms around in annoyance, only to smack Rei square in the face.

"Vi! Control yourself before I push you off a cliff!" Rei rubbed the side of her face where she was hit. Vi apologized with a sheepish grin.

"Hey, doesn't Rei have the same birth month as Kabuto and Akamaru?" Kai asked.

"Yes, the creepy glasses-wearing freak and a dog that pisses on people as an attack," Rei twitched as the other two laughed.

"Hey you three!" the Hokage yelled. "Pay attention! Or at least quiet down. I'm trying to explain the ninja and mission ranks."

"We already know all about the ranks, Hokage," said Rei.

The Hokage and Kakashi sighed as Naruto complained about their missions. "Can we _please_ have a more exiting mission this time? All we've been doing are stupid chores that even a four-year-old could do!"

"And yet you couldn't even subdue a simple house cat," Sasuke stated.

"Shut up!"

The Hokage gave in to the futile fight. "Okay, I understand. If you insist so much on taking on a more dangerous mission, then I will give you one that is C ranked." Dramatic music began to play as the others listened closely. "Team 7 will be escorting a certain person to the Country of Waves." Dun dun dun!

Right on cue, the sliding door in the back of the room rolled open, and an old man with a bottle of booze stepped through. He surveyed the team for a second before speaking. "Is that short one there with the idiotic face really a ninja? I don't exactly feel safe if I'm entrusting my life to a couple of kids."

"Haha! Who's the shortest one here with the idiotic face?" Naruto laughed as he looked from person to person.

Kai coughed. "It must be Vi."

"I'm taller than Naruto by one and a half inches, I'll have you know!" Vi yelled.

Everyone turned and looked at Naruto.

Naruto stopped to think for a second. "… I'm going to kill you, you old geezer!"

Kakashi merely pushed the blonde over face first onto the wooden floor. "Don't kill the person you're suppose to escort, idiot."

"Yay, I'm not the shortest for once!" Vi jumped around happily.

Kakashi pushed her over as well. "Don't make such a fuss."

"Kakashi-meanie-pants!" Vi cried.

Sakura twitched and turned to Rei. "Please throw her off a cliff. And Naruto too while you're at it."

"How about I shove you off and do us all a favor?" Rei said, looking at Sakura. Sasuke could only mentally agree.

"And Kakashi, attack her again and there will be dire consequences," Rei said in a deadly voice, secretly forming a few seals behind her back.

"Maa, maa. So much friendship now, eh?" Kakashi replied, only to get trapped in a water dome, boiling due to a fire technique.

* * *

: **PACKING **:

* * *

Vi and Kai were stuffing some new clothes they got into spare backpacks, making a mental checklist for all of their things. They had about four hours until they had to meet at the gates. 

"Kai! Vi! Do you guys know what happened to my things I had with me?" Rei yelled from across the hall.

"Uhh... I think the Hokage wanted to be sure you weren't a spy and had it searched!" Kai yell back, only to hear random thumping and crashes.

"Shit!" The front door slamming shut rang throughout the house.

* * *

Vi : Fear me! Rawr!

Kai : Yes Vi, we shall fear the one who pisses off Avenger Boy! If only for the sake of not being around when he tries to fry you again… -cough-

L2Max : **-**shoves Sakura off a cliff- I did us all a favor xD


	7. Oh My God

**CHAPTER 7**

Rei : Konban wa minna!

Kai : Yet another chapter! Whoo!

Rei : In the words of Vi, "Today is a 'Evil Filler Chapter!'" xD

Kai : -throws confetti-

Vi : Eeeeevil!

A/N : Stupid divider thingy-ma-what's-it isn't working... So bare with the hyphens. . ;;

--------------------------------------------

"Goddamn... So many stairs!" exclaimed Rei as she walked up the stairs leading the Hokage's office. "How does that old geezer walk up these!.?"

Upon reaching the top of the stairs, Rei realized that she wasn't anywhere near the Hokage's office. Instead, she somehow ended up at the Anbu's division area. She saw a sign bearing with big letters: "Anbu Division Area, Interrogation Area, Search and Rescue Area, etcetera."

"Hmm… Let's try... The first door!" she said happily, skipping into room 301.

--------------------------------------------

:**AT THE MANOR**:

--------------------------------------------

Kai and Vi waited in the Uchiha's living room, their bags packed and thrown over their shoulders. They felt a sudden "Impending Doom" chill down their spins, and they glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

"Did you feel that?" Vi asked, curling into herself, rubbing her arms as if to ward of invisible attackers.

"Yeah... You don't think its Rei... Do ya?" Kai asked, turning to her friend with wide eyes.

After a few moments, they both replied with a "Nah!" They spent the rest of their time chatting happily with each other.

--------------------------------------------

"Holy fuckin' shit!" Rei screamed, running as fast as she could out of the room. Behind her was a mob of male Anbu members, all of them hurling kunai while trying to keep a towel firmly wrapped around their waists.

"I said I was sorry!" The only reply was a few dozen well aimed kunai. "I didn't know it was the shower area, okay?.!" She quickly ducked around the corner and launched herself into the first door she could find, the men trailing behind her.

Screams were heard throughout the tower, quickly followed by thumps and thuds. The male Anbu squad was thrown out of windows and through the walls, all of them wearing perverted grins.

"And stay out, perverts!" a few female Anbu exclaimed as they poked their head out of the windows and holes in the wall, shaking their fists in anger.

During this entire mess, Rei had ducked into what she thought was an empty room.

"Tell us the truth!" an intimidating voice rang throughout the room.

"I. Will. Tell. Nothing," another voice hissed, laced with pain.

"Take him to Dungeon Eight. Make sure he is _very _comfortable," said a man with a bandana covering his head, along with a long black trench coat as the other was quickly escorted out of the room.

Ibiki sat down, rubbing his temples with his pointer and middle finger, until he noticed another presence within the room.

"Who are you?" he asked, as he watched her with suspicion.

"Oh my god, its Morino Ibiki, the head of interrogation!" she yelled, pointing at him with wide eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his ego boosting slightly.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Rei countered, thinking of a few things that would make even Vi and Kai blush.

"You're in no position to be asking questions," Ibiki said, a slight smirk playing at his lips as he played along.

"Oh, of course. I bet you love being the rough 'seme' with the guys, eh? Love being on top?" Rei asked with an evil grin.

Ibiki stared at her for a few moments. 'Seme, as in being on the offensive side?' Thinking she meant an attacker of the mind, he replied with a simple, "Yes, yes I do."

Rei stared at him in disbelief. Here was one of the greatest interrogators…To state with no problem... That he was gay.

Her only response to _that _was to fall over in laughter.

"Oh my god!" she said between bursts of laughter. "Your _gay_?.!" She gripped her stomach as she doubled over. "I can't breathe! I think I broke a rib!" She burst into new fits of laughter. "So who's the lucky _man?_"

She snickered for a few moments, finally getting control of her laughter enough to see Ibiki's face flushed a series of colors. She glanced at the table, noticing the wheels of a tape recorder turning. Rei quickly stole a glance at Ibiki to make sure he was distracted enough before launching herself at the tape recorder and quickly darting out the window.

--------------------------------------------

Vi yawned as she watched Kai try and engage an annoyed Sasuke into a game of poker. They've been waiting here for the past forty-five minutes, trying to entertain themselves until Rei came home so they could get on with their mission.

"Please! Please! _Please_!" Kai begged, clasping her hands in front of her as she stood in front of the brooding teen. "Only one or three games!"

Sasuke's right eyebrow twitched as she continued to banter him. "I don't wish to gamble with two bumbling idiots!"

Vi perked up as an idea struck her like the Akimichis' Meat Tank. "How about you play one game with us and if you win we'll quit bugging you for the rest of… Uh…"

"Until we learn the details of the mission?" Kai offered, looking at Sasuke hopefully.

Sasuke weighed his options. He could play one game with these two losers and he'd get some peace and quiet for a few hours. He doubted they even knew the real concept behind poker. This would be a cinch.

"Fine. One game and then you leave me alone until we meet up with Kakashi."

Kai punched a fist into the air with a triumphant 'Whoo!' as Vi dug through her carry-on for her deck of cards.

"I gotta warn you. Kai's an idiot," Vi said while she shuffled. Kai let out an indignant snort before grabbing the cards and dealing them out.

"Like you're one to talk, fuck. I haven't seen you come up with any ideas to keep us occupied," she retorted. Glancing at her cards before sitting on them, she looked at Vi as she did the same. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but put in his bet all the same. After the initial bets and trading of cards were commenced, Vi laid down a pair of threes and sixes.

"Ha! Beat that!" she said, crossing her arms and looking at them both with a smug grin. Sasuke smirked before laying down a full house, wiping Vi's smile straight off her face. She sent a glare his way. "Smug asshole…"

"Like you're one to talk, fuck!" Kai said her tongue poking out from between her lips as her brow creased. She turned one card upside down and then flipped it back into its original position before looking up questionably.

"Uhhh… Is this good?" she asked, placing the cards onto the floor in front of the three with a sheepish smile.

Sasuke and Vi rolled their eyes at her before looking at her cards, both their eyes widening in disbelief.

"… What the…" Vi looked up at her friend with an incredulous look.

Kai frowned and scratched her cheek with her pointer finger. "Ehh… Is it that bad?" she asked, earning a smack on the back of the head from Vi.

"Idiot, that's a royal flush! You totally whipped Sasuke's ass!" Vi said, giving her friend a grin. Kai squee'd in delight before sticking her tongue out at a still disbelieving Sasuke.

"Eat that, Avenger Boy!"

--------------------------------------------

Rei walked along a hallway, peeking into a bunch of random rooms, trying to find her missing backpack.

"Goddamn… I _need_ my bag!" she cried out in frustration, yanking at a few strands of her hair.

She yanked open the next door she came upon and scowled at its emptiness. She continued to stomp down the hallway until she came to the last door.

"Better fuckin' be in here…" she mumbled to herself before opening the door and staring at the occupants.

There, sitting at the round table in the middle of the room, was a number of jounins. Rei's laptop was propped up onto the table, all of their chairs surrounding the small, portable computer. Now, she would deem this as normal curiosity if it weren't for what was on the screen.

Rei's eyes bugged out and she looked from each jounin to the next. "What the…"

There, on the screen, consisted of multiple pictures, all of which had come from a folder she kept especially for her. Her special folder that she loved dearly…

Her shounen-ai folder.

Rei stared at a few choice jounins in the room. "Genma, Raidou, Hayate…" she mumbled, glancing from them back to the screen. "Can… I have my laptop back?" she asked, pointing at the piece of technology.

Hayate coughed; if from his sickness or his uneasiness, no one knew. "I take it you're Rei-san? We were ordered to check its contents for any spy material…"

"And instead, we found this," Raidou said, pointing at a picture of Sasuke and Naruto in a very compromising position.

A tick formed above Rei's right eye.

--------------------------------------------

Kai, Vi, and an annoyed Sasuke walked along the streets of Konoha, a few girls sending glares towards the two girls.

"Don't look so down, Sasuke! We only got around $50.00 from ya!" Kai said happily, her hands linked behind her head.

"Yeah, it's not like you don't have money to throw around anyway," Vi said with a shrug before a shiver ran down her spine. "Do you feel that…?" she asked hesitantly, looking over her shoulder.

The sound of a thousand feet pounding against the ground sounded before a series of "Sasuke-kuuuuun!" were heard throughout the village.

"Fuck!" Kai and Vi screamed in unison, each grabbing one of Sasuke's arms and taking off down the street. "Why didn't we hear them coming _sooner_?.! Aren't we supposed to be ninja?.!" Kai asked, taking a glance over her shoulder.

"We've only been ninja for a day or so! Sasuke should've sensed them!" Vi countered. They continued running down the street before taking a quick turn at some random corner store.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!" Kai bellowed as the trio came to a halt at the dead end. They could hear the mob coming closer and closer, their eyes widening considerably in fear.

"Okay here's the plan," Vi said, suddenly taking on a serious expression. "Kai and I have planned ahead in case such a disaster occurred."

"So what's the plan of action?" Sasuke asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

They both looked at him and said dead-panned, "We throw you into the middle and run."

An eerie silence swept over the three before two resounding _thuds_ were heard.

"What the hell?.! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard!" Sasuke yelled to them, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.

"Okay, okay. All we need to do is have one of us flirt a little with Sasuke while the other sets up a genjutsu," Vi said with a sigh, as she rubbed the bump on her head.

Another silence swept over the trio as Kai and Vi stared at each other. "You do it," they said to each other at the same time. "I'm not doing it, you do it!" they said, again, in the same sequence. Tick marks adorned their eyebrows as they looked at each other with annoyance.

Sasuke scowled. "I have a mob of rabid fan girls after me and you two can't decide which one will set up the genjutsu barrier?"

"Who wants to flirt with _you_, you damn brooding emo?" Kai asked before sighing. "Alright, alright. I'll flirt with him while you set up the barrier. You do have better chakra control… Don't mess up, little sister!" Kai said with a grin before grabbing Sasuke's hand and dragging him out in front of the mob.

"Hey girls! Guess what?" she asked, a shit-eating grin still plastered on her face. Before anyone in the mob could do anything, Kai was hugging Sasuke. She nuzzled his neck, her hand gripping the base of his head as the other moved his arm to wrap around her waist. From the postion of the fangirls... It looked like a make out scene.

"You don't cooperate and I'll kill you," she whispered harshly in a blushing Sasuke's ear, a grimace marring her features as she sent a glare Vi's way.

Vi sighed in exasperation before she began collecting the correct amount of chakra and going through the necessary hand seals. She slammed her hands onto the ground a few moments later, the mob stopping dead in it's tracks at the sight of her friend hanging all over their precious Sasuke.

--- You guys come up with the genjutsu name… ---

Vi stood up, her breathing ragged as she gave Kai a thumbs up. Upon receiving the signal, she pushed Sasuke out of her personal bubble.

"Took ya long enough!" Kai said, shaking a fist at her friend. "Taken any longer and I'd have to go for desperate measures! And you!" She pointed accusingly at Sasuke to make a rude retort about his being. But alas, Sasuke wasn't pay the least bit attention to her, a small stream of blood making his way out of one of his nostrils as he stared at the genjutsu that was displayed.

Kai sighed, throwing one of Vi's arms around her shoulders. "We really need to work on our chakra reserves…" Vi mumbled. "That little genjutsu took everything outta me."

"Pretty damn good genjutsu though!" Kai said with a grin as she watched a fake Sasuke pin a fake Naruto to the side of the building.

A few moments later, Sasuke fell to the ground in a dead faint. Vi and Kai watched him twitch a few times, a small pool of blood forming around him.

Kai's eyebrow twitched. "He wasn't supposed to get caught…"

Vi smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "I couldn't resist."

--------------------------------------------

Rei snatched the laptop and her backpack before leaving without missing a beat. All three jounins looked at each other weirdly.

"Did you download the Sasuke x Naruto picture?" Genma asked, looking at the other two.

"Hell yeah," Raidou answered, pumping a fist into the air.

Hayate coughed. "We'll make some money off of these…" He coughed again.

--------------------------------------------

Kai : -twitch twitch- I'm not good at flirting… So I had to resort to physical flirting… -twitches some more- I did nothing, but nuzzle his neck a little, dammit! –twitch-

L2Max : O.O;; -speechless-

Vi : -pokes Sasuke with a stick-

Kai : -sigh- Anyway... We would like to get FIVE (5) to TEN (10) reviews before we post Chapter 8. And we will not count reviews if someone has _forced _you to review. -glares at Amanda- We want people that actually _enjoy _reading this ficcy to review and encourage us to keep writing. And don't just review under a totally different name... .

A/N : Until next time, everyone! -glomps you all-


	8. Three Chickens and a Grape

**Chapter 8**

**Authors' Note :: Thanks to Neassa, we finally found what the hell was wrong with this chapter. So, this is the reediting of it. Thanks, Neassa. **

Kai :: Like, ohmeegod! We're actually updating this thing! –throws confetti-

Vi :: …

Rei :: We have a special chapter for waiting so long! It's the longest so far, so enjoy! (No suing please.) :D

Kai :: Review replies are at the bottom. Alright then, on with the story!

--------------------------------------------

"This fuckin' sucks ass!" Kai commented with a grimace. She was carrying a not-so-light-weight, unconscious Sasuke on her back as Vi carried both their backpacks.

Vi snickered at her and she threw a glare her way. "Why don't you carry the ass?.!"

"Hello?.! He's taller than me! His feet would drag on the floor!" Vi said, pointedly turning her head away from her friend.

Kai was about to answer when a series of "Kai! Vi!" was heard behind the trio. The two girls stopped and turned to find Rei walking towards them with her backpack and laptop in hand.

"And where the hell have _you _been?" Kai asked as she shifted Sasuke to make sure he didn't fall off.

Rei stared at Kai for a minute before replying, "I had to get my laptop. Didn't expect me to leave _that _here, did you? And what have _you _been doing?" Rei raised an eyebrow at the unconscious Sasuke. Yes, not up, but pointedly _at _him.

Kai sighed as Vi began replaying the day's events for her as they walked towards the front gates.

When they arrived, Naruto and Sakura were already there, and they were immediately bombarded by questions from Sakura.

"What the hell did you do to my Sasuke-kun?.! Why's he unconscious?.! Did you hurt him?.! What'd you _do_?.!"

Vi, Kai, and Rei's eyebrows twitched in annoyance.

"First of all, _shut the _**fuck **_up_!" Kai growled, setting Sasuke on the ground and against the wall so he didn't fall over.

"He just fell unconscious," Rei said with a shrug, looking away from Sakura to proceed ignoring her.

"What do you mean he 'just fell unconscious'?.!" Sakura screeched, causing all three girls' heads to spin.

"What did I just say?.!" Kai said, pointing an accusing finger at her.

Before an argument could be started, Kakashi arrived with his usual "Yo!" and asked them all what happened to Sasuke.

"Sasuke was having naughty daydreams about Naruto and knocked himself out with blood loss," Vi answered with a shrug. Kakashi's eye curved up happily with the explanation.

"He was _what_?.!" Naruto screamed, pointing and looking at Vi as if she had just stuffed a kunai up her nose.

"I said—"

"How about we wake up Sasuke and get on with the mission?" Rei suggested, not wanting to listen to Naruto screeching.

Kai walked over to Sasuke, screaming very loudly, "Oh my God! It's Itachi!" She jumped back just in time to narrowly miss a kunai to the head as he stood in his battle ready position.

"Itachi! Today is the day I finally beat y-" Sasuke looked around to notice that Itachi wasn't anywhere near the area of Konoha.

--------------------------------------------

Within the Akatsuki base, a loud sneeze echoed throughout the halls.

"Dammit, another fangirl."

--------------------------------------------

The walk toward the Wave country was peaceful, except for the occasional annoyance of Sakura trying to talk to Sasuke. The birds were twittering happily, the leaves were blowing peacefully in the wind.

"Oh, hey! A puddle in the middle of the road when there hasn't been any rain for the past few days!" cried out Vi, running to splash in it. She jumped into the puddle and fell in... Deep...

"What the fuck?.!" Kai yelled. Seeing her little sister fall into a puddle in the middle of the road isn't exactly what she had in mind for the day.

Kai quickly ran over to the puddle and dived in to save her poor, little sister. She came back up, sputtering, and with a drenched Vi in tow.

"Shit! She needs CPR! _Fast_!" Rei yelled, holding Vi's wrist to check for a pulse. In the next moment, she did what everyone would do in her position: She grabbed the back of Sasuke's head and smashed his mouth to Vi's, expecting him to give her CPR.

Seconds seemed like hours as Sasuke tried to figure out what the hell just happened. Vi slowly opened her eyes and locked gazes with Sasuke. All hell broke loose.

Vi did what anyone would've done in her position: At least, what anyone who hated the brooding emo would've done.

She kneed him in the balls.

Sasuke let out a loud grunt as he bent over, hands between his legs. Before Sakura could even run over, Vi kicked him into a tree and proceeded to pound him senseless.

"Vi… Vi… _Vi!_" Kai exclaimed, grabbing Vi by the arms. "Stop killing him, dammit! We need him for the mission. Kill Rei instead! She started it and she's disposable," Kai stated with a grin.

"Oh gee, that _really _helps Kai. How am I disposable when I'm the most knowledgeable in jutsus?.!" she asked incredulously. "Well… 'cept for Kakashi of course…" she mumbled to herself.

She was beginning to get nervous. She was on the receiving end of the patented Uchiha Glare, Sakura's "You are so dead" look, and Vi's... Well, Vi wasn't really giving her a _look, _but her silent and rigid composure was enough to scare even the Hokage into the next century.

If she lived for that long…

--------------------------------------------

The three new additions to the team were hiding in a bush, watching the first fight that Team Seven has ever experienced in fascination. Rei was typing up in the laptop, taking notes for future reference, while Kai and Vi quietly cheered on Naruto.

"This is _so_ fuckin' awesome," Kai said, grinning. "To think that we're going to be able to do that shit." She looked to the sky and grinned. "Thank you, Buddha!"

"Hey! Kakashi's back!" Vi said, suddenly popping out of the bushes with Kai and Rei.

"Where the hell were you?.!" Sakura asked. "Sasuke-kun could've gotten hurt because you weren't around to help!" she screeched.

Kai rolled her eyes in aggravation. "First off, _you _were here to help him. Unless you're finally admitting that you're of no use so we can finally kill you off." Sakura sputtered indignantly at that.

"Second," Rei continued, "Naru-chan is hurt and is in need of medical attention." She quickly pulled up a page on her laptop with a sigh of success before Vi grabbed the laptop from her and showed it to everyone.

"Thirdly, these two are the Demon Brothers, missing nin from the Mist. We must get them back to Konoha in order to take claim," she concluded.

Kakashi nodded. "Tazuna-san, I'm afraid that this isn't the type of thing that my team signed up for. The Demon Brother's claws were tipped with poison. If we are to go on, Naruto will die."

Naruto then went on about how he wasn't to be treated like a baby anymore and that the mission shouldn't end just because of him. He then went emo and stabbed himself, declaring that the mission is to go on, and making his vow to not be a burden to the group any longer.

Kai, Rei, and Vi gave him cheesy thumbs up.

Kakashi's eye crinkled and he congratulated him on his bravery. "But Naruto, if you don't patch up that wound, you're going to die of blood loss."

Everyone sweat dropped as Naruto preceded to flair his arms around and freak out.

--------------------------------------------

"Hmm, I might have underestimated these brats," Zabuza stated grimly. Smirking, he disappeared into the mist, saying, "That makes things more fun."

--------------------------------------------

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, responsibilities, blah, blah, importance of stealth, blah, blah, being a ninja, blah! Blah! _Are you listening to me_?.!" she shouted the last sentence, finally taking notice that no one was paying attention.

"Yeeeaaahhh... Kind of stopped caring after the first ten seconds," Kai stated, showing great control by not punching Sakura in the face in her fury.

"Well! A ninja should be silent and deadly, show no emotion, blah, blah..." As she rambled on, Kai lost her final ounce of patience.

"How about a nice bar of S.T.F.U.? Ever heard of it? It stands for "shut the fuck up." I swear to God, you should be some stupid cheerleader or something! You never shut up, can't get a clue-"

"Umm... Kai?" Vi whispered quietly, interrupting her older sister's ranting.

"_What_?.!" Kai shouted, clearly still annoyed.

"Duck," Rei finished for Vi, dragging them both down with her.

A large sword swooped over head. If they had been two seconds late, they would've been beheaded.

--------------------------------------------

Vi, Kai, and Rei stayed out of the battle, in fear of changing the Naruto world's future if they interfered. Vi and Kai were continuing to itch their eyes throughout the battle.

"Jebus! My eyes itch like hell," Kai mumbled, rubbing her eyes harshly.

"I know... It's, like, Pink Eye or something," Vi proclaimed, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

"I feel sore…" Rei stated, rubbing her arms and legs as if to ward off an ache.

Vi glanced over at Kai before doing a double take. "Kai… ?" She stared at her, stunned.

"What?" she asked, rubbing one eye while training the other on Vi.

"When… Errr… When did your eyes start to change?" Vi asked. She glanced over to see if Rei noticed, but she was too engrossed in the battle taking place in front of them.

"Err… Never?" she said, looking at Vi as if she had just grown ten inches taller.

Vi took off her pack and proceeded to dig through it, looking for something. A small sound of joy erupted from her throat as she dragged out the small compact mirror before thrusting it into Kai's face.

"Mother of fuck..." Kai continued with her profanities, her eyes still trained on her reflection.

"Battle's done," Rei said loud enough to pull them out of their musings. "Sasuke's not hurt too much, Sakura didn't do anything so she's okay, Naruto is a little messed up, and Kakashi… Well, he looks like he got into a bitch fight with a razor and lost," she finished grimly, pulling out random medical equipment.

--------------------------------------------

"Well? Is he okay?" Sakura asked for the 49, 838, 098 time that afternoon.

"I would gladly tell you to get you to shut the fuck up if I had any idea what was going on," Vi said, glaring her special Elmo Stare.

Kai was far too engrossed with her eyes to pay the least bit of attention to Sakura. Suddenly, the doors burst open to reveal Rei and Tsunami.

"Well, he's okay. Just chakra exhaustion," Tsunami said. "We don't have enough rooms for everyone, so the girls will have to bunk in here and the boys will get the living room. Is that alright with you?" she asked.

"_What the fuck, dattebayo_?.! Why do I get stuck with that bastard?.!" Naruto burst out, pointing towards said bastard.

"Like anyone would want to be stuck with you either, _dobe_," Sasuke proclaimed.

The two were quickly forgotten as the feeling of dread suddenly washed over them like a thick blanket. Kai, Vi, and Rei all had looks of dismay on their face, as if they had just got sentenced to ten years in jail.

Hell, they'd rather _be _in jail!

Rei said one thing. "I call the roof!" she started to walk up the stairs.

"I call the huge tree in back!" Vi quickly called, dashing off.

Kai had no clue what else there was to choose, so she went with the next best thing. "I'm with Vi!"

--------------------------------------------

"What do you mean he's still alive?.!" Naruto screamed after hearing Kakashi's worries.

Kai stuck a pinky in her ear. "Okay, can you not blow out my ear drums?" she asked in annoyance.

"Now, now. This is no time to start fighting. Zabuza is still out there and we need to figure out a plan of action," Kakashi said.

"Uhhh… Hello? You're kind of out of commission for about a week," Naruto stated, pointing to him with a deadpanned expression.

"But Zabuza will be out of commission for just about as long. So we have about a week to figure out a plan, dobe," Sasuke said with an indifferent shrug. Naruto fumed in the background.

"Very good, Sasuke!" Kakashi said, his eye lifting happily. "We will start training tomorrow so we will be ready to face Zabuza." He smiled at everyone before his eyes rested on Kai who was still engrossed with Vi's mirror. "Kai," he stated to get her attention.

He was ignored.

"Kai…" he said again.

And again he was ignored.

Before he could say her name again, Sasuke whacked her upside the head.

"Ow! What the fuck, man?" she asked, looking up at him with a glare.

"What the hell happened to your eyes, dattebayo?.!" Naruto asked in his oh-so-subtle way.

"Fuck you, man! I'm trying to figure it out!" she whined, too worried about her eyes to care about sounding like a three-year-old.

"Man, Kai… I think it's getting worse…" Vi stated. Kai gave her a look as if to say 'Thanks a lot, you're really helping me.'

"Dude, your pupils are totally _gone. _And they're not brown anymore! They're like… Like… " Naruto couldn't quite find the words.

"Lavender…" Sakura said, slightly envious of the gorgeous color.

"Looks kind of like Neji or Hinata's…" Rei said. As the words finally hit her, everyone's eyes widened.

"Kai, do you have some Hyuuga blood in you?" Kakashi asked.

"Fuck if I know, man!" she said, not really paying attention to anything but her reflection. "I didn't even know you guys really _existed_. How am I supposed to know if Neji's my uncle or not?.!"

"Or cousin, or _brother_, or—" Vi was cut off as Kai threw her mirror at her.

"None of you are any help, you know that?" Kai stated rhetorically, beginning to itch her eyes again. "And they itch, dammit!"

Kakashi sighed. _This is going to be a long trip…_

--------------------------------------------

As Kakashi walked down the tree again, he looked at his students and asked, "Now, any questions?

"So, we just use chakra to move up towards the top of the trees?" inquired Sakura, still looking skeptical about the whole idea.

"Yes; too much chakra, you get blown back; too little, you fall straight down. Anymore questions?" asked Kakashi, looking upon them all.

"Statement!" Rei said, standing up with her laptop. "I declare you cannot be our sensei, since you already have a team."

"Yeah, she has a point there," Kai said, backing her up and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I say the laptop should be our sensei!" Vi said, thrusting a fist up into the air in excitement.

"But, you have no ideas on how you do anything," Kakashi retorted, hoping to catch them off guard.

"I have about fifteen files on things to do at certain points in a shinobi's career and I have a few extra files on each of the elements with easy to hard jutsus for later in our training," Rei said, whipping out the files on her laptop.

"Well, that's about said and done…" Kai snickered at Kakashi. "But, we need a team number!"

"Hmm... Team Thirteen!" Vi exclaimed after a few moments of pondering.

"Naruto is welcome to come along if he feels like it!" Rei said, walking into the forest with Kai, Vi, and Naru-chan.

Thus the new team 13 set off the trail to a different clearing.

--------------------------------------------

Four dark figures could be made out in the shadows of the night, moving towards the bridge builder's house. Said four happened to be Naruto, Kai, Vi, and Rei.

"I bet Kakashi-sensei's training was less harsh, dattebayo…" Naruto said, finally stopping and leaning against a tree to catch his breath.

"Don't blame me, blame Rei," Kai stated, flopping over in the grass and rolling onto her stomach.

"Look on the bright side. We don't have to bunk with Sakura," Vi said, seating herself onto a nearby boulder.

There were a few moments of silence before it was broke by Naruto. "Why do you guys hate Sakura-chan so much?" he asked, his eyes glazed over as he looked up at the stars.

"Because," Rei started. "She mistreats you and treats Sasuke as if he's some prissy little king." She took a seat by Naruto.

"She's annoying as fuck. She never stops talking and couldn't get a clue if it was shoved up her ass," Kai said, resting her head in her folded arms.

"Annoying, useless, stereotypical damsel in distress, overly obsessed with Sasuke… And yeah," Vi droned on, settling herself next to Kai as her eyes drooped with sleepiness.

"… He fell asleep on me…" Rei twitched in annoyance as she looked at the blonde head that has settled itself onto her lap. She looked up to complain some more, but stopped short as she noticed Kai and Vi asleep next to each other as well.

"I guess the laptop pushed them to hard..." Rei drawled, falling asleep as well.

--------------------------------------------

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_"

The sudden squee woke everyone in an instant. Naruto, Vi, and Rei found themselves looking at a horrified girl who was planted firmly on her ass, looking up at a branch where Kai was hanging, staring at the horrified girl… Well… Horrified.

"What the shit, man?.! Did you have to jab me in the stomach with a _stick_?.!" Kai asked, staring at her incredulously.

"What the shit, man?.!" Rei mimicked annoyingly. "Did you have to scare the shit out of us by squealing?.!" Rei glared up at her. "Get down here!"

Kai, in her oh-so-graceful manner, fell right into the bed of herbs they were laying on.

"Ow…" she proclaimed lamely.

Rei and Vi sighed in exasperation as they watched Naruto help Kai up. Rei looked over at the girl before coughing violently, causing Vi and Kai to look over and see her pointing to said girl.

"Eheh… Sorry about that!" Kai said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly.

"It's alright…" the girl said cautiously. "I was just about to pick some herbs around this area when I found you four asleep."

"Do you need any help?" Naruto asked expectantly, looking at who he thought was a 'girl prettier than Sakura.'

The girl smiled. "If you wouldn't mind, I would love some help," she said.

Kai coughed violently as Naruto's eyes lit up. Rei rolled her eyes and Vi just stared.

"He really _does _look like a girl," Vi whispered, glancing over at Kai and Rei. "I mean, like, _really _looks like a girl."

"I can't wait for when Haku tells Naruto that she's a he," Kai said with a snicker. "I really want to see Naruto's face in person."

--------------------------------------------

After an insane outburst of laughter from Kai, a few more nights of fighting between everyone, plus a declaration of revenge involving a rake, three chickens, and a grape, the Zabuza fight was finally upon them! Naruto, of course, was left behind. Kai opted to stay behind, using the excuse of her eyes temporarily blinding her because of her incessant itching. Vi decided that she should "watch the two idiots in case they hurt themselves," to which Sasuke replied with a scathing remark about how Naruto and Kai couldn't hurt their way through a paper barrier.

Kai sighed as everyone finally left. "What. The. Fuck," she said, just for the sake of saying it. She was still itching her eyes, finally come to the realization that if staring at them wasn't going to do anything, she mind as well take the itch away.

Vi sighed. "Time to put everything into action."

"You mean make sure Naruto wakes up on time before hiding out under the bridge?" Kai asked. She received a cheerful "yup!" in return.

--------------------------------------------

An hour or two later, the three newly arrived shinobis were sitting on top of the water under the bridge. Kai and Vi were both drenched, having forgotten to concentrate as they were talking to Rei about the fight. Both were mumbling incoherently while Rei watched the fight in fascination, via a webcam.

"I don't understand how the webcam hasn't gotten knocked over yet…" Vi remarked.

"I know, what the fuck. Seriously. You'd think with all the kunai flying around one would hit the stupid thing. It's not exactly fucking unnoticeable," Kai said. After a few moments of thinking, she added, "Where the fuck did you get a webcam anyway? Did it just magically show up like your laptop?"

"It was in my backpack, thank you!" Rei said indignantly, momentarily taking her eyes off of the battle.

Kai and Vi stared, before grinning evilly.

"And just _what _were you doing with a webcam?" Vi asked, giving her an amused smirk.

Rei's eyes widened and she stared at her in disbelief. "What are you going on about?.! I wasn't doing anything like _that _with it!"

"Doing what?" Kai asked innocently, giving her a well-acted confused look.

Rei glared at her. "You know exactly what you were implying."

Kai put her hands up in defense. "I didn't say anything! Vi was the one that said everything!" she said frantically, failing to hide a smile.

Rei sighed as Vi and Kai both dissolved into a fit of giggles. "My two best friends are retarded," she said, giving them an amused look as they attempted to dunk each other before she returned to her laptop.

--------------------------------------------

Kakashi was in trouble.

He had just lost three of his students; another of his students was unconscious; another was so enraged that his inner-demon, literally, was dying the air around them red; and the last one was pretty much useless in the sense that she knew nothing existed but her 'precious Sasuke-kun.' And to top it all off, he was facing against The Demon of the Mist, Momichi Zabuza.

Kakashi was in trouble.

And the only think he could think was, "I wonder when the next volume of Icha Icha will come out…"

Yes, Kakashi was definately in trouble.

--------------------------------------------

The fight was soon over, leaving Zabuza to face off with Gatou while he was half dead. Kai, Vi, and Rei popped out of nowhere, Sakura was crying over Sasuke's miraculous recovery from the dead, while Naruto and Kakashi faced off the rest of Gatou's goons.

"Well…" Rei said, finally shutting her laptop and tucking it under her arm. "Now that that's done…"

"We all need to recover from our injuries," Kakashi said. "Although, I don't think you three need any recovering…" he said, giving them an odd look. "What were you doing?"

Kai and Vi stared at him stupidly, before Rei replied with, "We were plotting the rake, three chickens, and a grape revenge plan."

Kakashi's eye curved, happy with the answer. Naruto stared at them disbelievingly. "You mean you were _serious_ about that?.!" he screeched.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, annoyed with everything; and the fact that he hurt all over and that Sakura was all over him. She really _did _need to go on that diet she always went on about. "Can we go?" he asked dully.

Sakura immediately started fussing over him before Kai and Vi 'accidentally' pushed her off of the bridge. Kakashi sighed at their innocent looks and Vi's attempts at whistling nonchalantly.

"At least it's quiet…" Rei mumbled, dragging everyone back to Tsunami's house.

--------------------------------------------

Kai :: Oh, sweet Jebus. I've finally finished this chapter. o.o;; After… What? A year? We've finally got this chapter finished! Muahaha! Keep reading!

**To Neassa **Thanks so much for pointing out my writing mistake. I think I fixed it... But, please, continue giving us such critisism. :D It helps us greatly. And sorry if you don't approve of the swearing, but it just wouldn't be in Kai's character for her to _not _swear as much as she does. I hope you like the rest of the story though.

**To Xx-DamnStraightLollyPop-xX** > Please, go ahead and use the TV idea. We have no problem with it. And yes, review, please. :D We love reviews. It makes our world go 'round.

**To Elf Freak **Here ya go, Amanda. We've finally updated, just for you! Muahaha! You better thank me and make me those cookies you promised me! -evil cackle-

**To Everyone Else** **> **We thank all of you so much for reviewing. The more you review, the more we're inspired to continue this story. x3 So please, keep going! Go go go! Muahaha! And please, give us some critisism if you can. When we finally realize why we don't love our chapters as much as we should, it makes us happy to fix it for all of you lovely readers. Hehe! Please, keep reading everyone! We love you all!


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